Friday, January 28, 2005
today has been quite a bad day! sigh... Sonn's leaving on thurs nite and i won't be sending her off cos her flight's at 10 pm and we've got geog and A Math CA the nxt day.Sze, Val, Eve, Uni, and Nirasha happily went off for recess at mikey's and left me alone,together with al and sherry. i couldn't find nicole i think she went there too. hmph.i wld have gone there if it wasn't for the fact that i was super pissed with the whole grp of ill-bred, self-centred ppl who cut queue and then each one of them buy food for ten ppl!
yesterday i was happily queueing (how do u spell it?my brain cells has lessened by 20% due to stress) at mikey's at 10.40 the start of recess. then came this whole hgrp of damn irritating ppl who were cutting queue.what do i do? stand there.was fuming mad. tried to do sth. but the freakin ppl did not want to listen. they think " one prefect will be awfully outnumbered by the many of us so let's just pretend that she's not there" one stoopid idiot girl started arguing with me...stupid retainee. u shld be ashamed of urself and not be so full of urself.go to hell mann. and then there was mabelene and beitris who were cutting queue. i told mae cos she was near to me to get out of the queue and she started complaining that beitris was doing it too, so why did i have to ask her to get out of the queue? i told her that the rest will be asked to get out too and that she can be the first. she of course did not want to move and decided to ignore me. she was prob sceptical of me, thinking "no one will listen ne way so why lose face and listen to her?"shit man! shalom, sheryl tan (Shalene's first love*cough*) , toadd, jill and the rest of their clique was there.there were about ten of them altogether! blardy hell !
i stood there looking like an idiot for half an hour before i finally got my food! and to think that i was there early! i was so angry i started shouting and was making quite a scene but i don't give a damn! after i got my food, i stayed away from crowds. and like the day before i walked out of the queue cos the same ppl were cutting queue. and surprise surprise, i din eat.
ok...back to today.sorry couldn't help but bitch about other ppl. i need to let it all out.oh yea. i am gg for the surgery for my blardy toe in like february? sigh earlier than expected. i hate it. so scared. sigh if i go at that time then i'll miss carnival. can't get my CCA pts then. but i'll get to go to perth with a healed toe at least. oh did i say?? i'm gg to perth for the geog trip! my mum let me go! :) :) that's the only happy thing arnd here. i've gotta do NYAA and lots of other stuff! i am so damn stressed! argh! i have passed the stage of dying and i am now in the decomposing stage. no surprise. i wanted to step on the mercury today so that i could die of mercury poisoning. hey it's a painless way to die! so why not? heaven's such a promising place!(tht is if i am gg there)
did i mention tht i cried today?? seriously i think i am really PMS-ing. al sherry and i were just walking from the canteen today and we were talking bout sonn, then al just had to bring up the fact that after june gill, Nicole and sonn will be gone. i mean it's alr bad anough that prem is in VJC and all. so i dunno why but i just started crying then al was like OMG! sorry mel i shldn't have said that! ok we'll go to the toilet... then after a sec i stopped. strange huh? i suppose it was cos i started thinking bout what school life would be like w/o them and i started getting all lonely.
they are the majorly fun ppl, the ppl that i'm close to and they are leaving! what are the rest of us gg to do? sit there and rot? i noe it's not that val sze and Eve are not fun, but things will be SO different. i gotta treasure my last few mths with them. how sad is that? sigh...i feel so alienated now... and i have got no one to talk to...how can i talk to the others when the keep gg to st mike's while i'm at raphael's and recess is the only time that i can speak to them?
school load has been really heavy...as i said i am decomposing.i have totally no rest at all. i haven't sleep well ever since sch started. sigh...that's why my brain has malfunctioned. and it refuses to work....inertia (sorry that's physics...oh well) ne way u get my point. i am lonely, empty and feeling damn crappy. i just feel like giving up alr. but everyone noes that no matter how i feel like giving up i just won't and i can't...cos i need to carry on,even if it means that i drop dead. oh well i'd better go...got lot's of work to do.sigh. not lookin forward to classes ne more. my happiness has always been the iron mask over my true feelings i just never really do show them. haha and ppl think that i am always happy. yeah rite.
I whispered
at 10:04 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Gill this is specially for u. i noe u love SUKIYAKI. i love it too!:
It's all because of you, I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away now, My love is just a rainy day
I love you so, how much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely
Unintentional memory Seemed to depart to me
Of love that's true
That one day turned my gray skies blue
But you disappeared
Now my eyes are filled with tears
I wishin you were here with me
Stop this love that I have for you
Now that you're gone I don't know what to do
If only you were here, You'd wash away my tears
The sun would shine and Once again you'd be mine
But in reality, I know it will never be
Cause you took your love away from me.
seems very applicable to the situation that we are facing here...except for the lovey-dovey parts though...eeks :S
I whispered
at 1:06 AM
Thursday, January 20, 2005
sigh...i'm really sorry for not blogging for so long.haven't had the time to.i haven't gone online for the longest time too! i miss 2/1 so badly...here's a list of what i miss about being in 2/1.
1 i miss gg for PE and playing badminton with Sze, sherry and Pat.
2 i miss having early wednesdays specially for us to crap around, and destress.
3 i miss singing 'that thing u do' with val, al and the others.
4 i miss gg with them for recess every single day.
5 i miss being with all of them!
6 i miss being crazy, my crazy side has been supressed by the seriousness of 3/2.sob.
7 i miss being myself
8 i miss telling everything that happened, to my friends.
9 i miss gg to serene with uni and val and prem.
10 i miss nicole's singing and her advice.
11 i miss prem's jokes!
12 i miss teasing them.
13 i miss ms ratulangi.
14 i miss waiting for them to go home together.
15 i miss gg with them to town.
16 i miss the time when we were painting our classroom
17 i miss sze and her (our) obsession with anime and characters that are the opp of those that i like.
18 i miss val's obsession with kamui.
19 i miss evelyn's blurness and sillyness.
20 i miss sherry's laughing
21 i miss gill's lame jokes.i miss joking with her.
22 i miss all our personalised hi-5s
23 i miss uni's crappyness and her look that's like this. -.-"
24 i miss sitting next to gill during the exam and seeing her laugh during the exam, thinking about Dory.
25 i miss them carolling.which they do everyday except on christmas.
26 i miss walking down the slope with val and uni and eve.
27 i even miss walking with them.even to the canteen.
basically i miss everyone.things aren't the same ne more! i feel alone without them beside me. even lessons are super serious. i think i shall go look for more Prince of tennis pics.they might cheer me up.MIGHT.
I whispered
at 3:35 PM
Thursday, January 06, 2005
i am so depressed. i am so sure i am gg to fail sec three and retain.like to top it all off, i can't play netball at all until my toeFULLY heals.like by the time that happens, it's the end of the year or sth. i dunno what i am gg to do to cope with this. and yesterday Gill just told us that she is gg to the states in june.the same time that nicole leaves. and that is like my birthday month! she just totally ruined it!thanks gill. -.-
yesterday was netball comm meeting.we have got so much stuff to do. it lasted so long. and today we had GM. it was so super long too.i am now officially a school prefect.i realised that i can't wear court shoes as well until my toe heals. so like what's new. great i just 'LOVE' my toe. ruins EVERYTHING.and now my tuition's on fridays. it is like one of the super bz days ever since MOE stated that there will be no activities on saturdays ne more, everyone decided to make everything on fridays instead.then what about my tuition?? i have four subjects that he is teaching me there.A Math, E Math, Chem and Physics.all the major impt subj. so great.
next week is officially a super bz week. we've got sec one orientation.i gotta help netball with the booth , do the games for prefects.then we've got invest. i have the wonderful backdrop to do. i just noe that i don't have to think about sec four for the time being.i'm nvr gonna make it there. we're missing classes on fri.seren thinks it's a gd thing.but not me! i noe we've got all the double periods on fri, unless they change the time table.which they are definitely gg to do.argh!then i gotta leave early on fri because i've got tuition. the counsillors were quite unhappy. but i can't help thinking about my studies.my feel apprehension.i just noe that i'm retaining.We've got interview for counsillors too. i don't wanna be a counsillor. i just wanna do well in my studies. don't we have a choice?sigh. i need help seriously. whoa like my clique is going to be reduced from 7 ppl to 4 ppl. how sad. i guess i'm just a pathetic girl who loves to complain. OH WELL. ciao!
I whispered
at 5:08 PM
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MELISSALAW
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